My Scottish Inspiration

A year ago, when I was getting ready to fly out to Sicily, I had to miss seeing the live show of "Still Game", the wonderful Scottish comedy that was making its return after an absence of many years. I was gutted to miss it, so when I heard that the Burnistoun boys were doing a live show, I promised myself I was not going to miss that for the world. So I didn't - and it was bucking amazing. (See you have to be a fan...)

the sunshine on the Clyde

Yes, it was extravagant to fly to Glasgow and stay the night but why not!? I have long thought that Glasgow sounded nice - vibrant, exciting and with lots going on - since hearing my favourite Scottish comedians talk about their city. Glaswegians seem very proud of their home and rightly so - I was very impressed. Everyone was very friendly, including a woman working in the airport who offered to post some postcards for me.

botanical gardens

I set off on Saturday for Bristol Airport - two bus journeys and a delay of 90 minutes to take-off couldn't keep me from seeing my two Glaswegian favourites, oh no.  When I landed in Glasgow, it was surreal at first hearing everyone speak in the beautiful accents that I am used to only hearing on tv, and I tweeted Robert Florence to say I was a little overwhelmed by this. He favourited the tweet - both he and Iain Connell use Twitter and respond to their fans very often, me included.

George Square

My hotel was very near the theatre. Glasgow is on a grid system so it is not easy to get lost. I had some dinner (Italian, of course) and treated myself to a pre-show drink. I didn't know what to expect because I've never met a Burnistoun fan before (who I haven't converted). I was interested to see they were mostly young. The theatre was packed - I was in the back row of the stalls.  A woman in the interval was amazed to hear I'd come up from Bristol "Good for you!" she kept saying. She had never seen Burnistoun before and was loving it.

The show was wonderful - it was a good mixture of classic and new sketches with everyone's favourite characters, including the Quality Polis (with a wonderful take on "Maria"!); a welcome resurrection of Paul and Walter; Scott and Peter; Biscuity Boyle and of course, squirrel-mad Jolly Boy John.  There was a particularly good sketch with the politicians; the original blue denim jaisket; the now famous lift sketch; and great support from Gerry McLaughlin and Louise Stewart. The audience was laughing continuously and it was amazing to hear everyone shouting out the catchphrases. I realised you can't shout the catchphrases in southern English - it has to sound Glaswegian. There were a few times when I didn't catch what they said - I guess it is a bit easier on telly. But Glaswegian for me is just poetic, it really does add something special to the language and delivery.

down by the Clyde

One of the nicest things was seeing how much they enjoyed performing - they talked to the audience as well. Iain and Robert were in virtually every scene, so there were voiceover sketches between frantic costume changes - they managed it very well. They must have been exhausted following a run of a few nights. I had seen on Twitter that they meet fans after the show - I thought how rude it'd be if I didn't say hello in person, after coming all that way. And there they were, at the stage door, in the flesh. It was so kind of them because there were loads of fans and they looked quite tired, unsurprisingly. When it came to my turn I leaned towards Robert and said, "I thought I'd come and say hello instead of tweeting." He looked at me and was probably thinking, well which one of my followers are you, and so I said my name and he knew then that I had come from Bristol, which was so nice, and they were both really appreciative and he said was it worth it? Of course it was, totally. I got to have a picture taken with them which was great. It was one of those surreal moments that you look at afterwards and think, did that really happen? I don't remember Iain's hand on my shoulder. It means a lot to me because they're both round my age and they've both done some brilliant things - so they are a real inspiration to me. Especially now, when I'm job hunting again. They are wonderful writers and actors, and obviously appreciate their fans. Robert seems to have endless energy and ideas. So to see the show and to meet them gives me energy and inspiration and self belief for the future.

Iain Connell, me, and Robert Florence

One night some years ago, I watched by chance a comedy programme called "Empty", which I really enjoyed. Beautifully written and acted (with Gregor Fisher and Billy Boyd). Later, I just happened to wonder who the writers were. I looked them up, this "Iain Connell and Robert Florence" and saw they'd done something else, "Burnistoun"... and from there to this, to Glasgow... :)

The Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum

Next morning, in bright sunshine, I took the Glasgow tour bus around the city from George Square. The tour guide was interesting and amusing and I saw some of the famous landmarks like the cathedral, the necropolis, the big ornate Victorian buildings from when it was a wealthy industrial city, and the futuristic buildings along the banks of the Clyde. I saw the Armadillo and the Hydro (where I should have seen Jack and Victor). I stopped off at the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum for a wander round (visiting Sir Roger the elephant and baby elephant, Kelvin). I was quite excited to see things I recognised from Still Game such as George Square and the River Kelvin.

   

Sir Roger

Glasgow reminded me of Birmingham with the old industrial past and modern rejuvenation. I liked it a lot and I would love to return to explore it some more. Taking off from the airport you could see some pretty hills in the background. So ideally, a job in Glasgow then...

the River Kelvin, which features in one of my favourite episodes of Still Game

Salford Comedy Festival and LS Lowry

I am just back from my trip to Salford for two talks at the Salford Comedy Festival, at the BBC. So now the hard work begins... I have heard lots of good advice on how to write a well-crafted sitcom, who to pitch it to, and what not to do.  I went to talks given by a commissioner for the BBC, as well as writers and producers for radio and television comedy. A lot of the advice is common sense, but it sounds as though the same mistakes are made in many of the submissions they receive.

Writing for radio or for children's television is a good way in to comedy writing. It costs less to produce radio shows and you can submit sketches for topical news shows, like Newsjack or That Show What You Wrote. Producers will pick out people who make a good impression, and perhaps contact them to write something further down the line.

Key points to bear in mind when writing a sitcom are to have a well plotted story, with a structure and a decent end, rather than a series of gags. You also need to have well defined characters, who are original and whom the audience cares about, with a character flaw. Plus it has to be funny. So although the task of writing funny shows is not easy, it was good to hear how they encouraged us to submit scripts to the Writers Room, because they are always looking for something new, exciting and original.

I will be looking for inspiration everywhere I go now, and in everything I hear or see. I enjoyed my trip to Manchester/Salford, as it was all new to me. I got the tram from Picadilly right out to Salford Quays. It was fun to float through the streets in the tram, looking at the buildings and people. I had relatives who used to live in Manchester so it was nice to think of them having been there. I loved the trams: they are so clean, efficient and quiet. I saw a couple of people having to step back when the driver tooted at them, because they had not seen or heard the tram coming.  We crossed the Manchester Ship Canal - I knew it was that because it was so wide, and I saw Old Trafford (enormous) on the other side of the quays. MediaCityUK has the BBC and some of Salford University. It was modern and nicely set out. I expect it is a pleasant place to work.  On the other side of a bridge was ITV, where they film Coronation Street. All very exciting.

The Lowry is also at the quays so I was pleased I had time to visit. The galleries were very well presented. I did not know much about L.S. Lowry, so I watched a short film about him. I disagreed in places with the assumptions of the voiceover, particularly about his private erotic drawings, which the film implied meant he was weird. But these were pre-internet times and I did not see anything too unusal in them. Nor did I like how a journalist had taken photos of the rooms in Lowry's house, after Lowry had died. It felt intrusive and ghoulish. So what if he had pictures of Rosetti's women on his bedroom walls?

His less well known work was also interesting. There were a lot of pencil sketches (he sketched on anything to hand) and some paintings of the sea, which had a white sky and a white sea. A quotation next to it said that Lowry was painting his loneliness, and that also his well known crowd scenes depicted loneliness, as there was no lonelier place than in a crowd. But I am not sure they say this to me: the most famous ones, "Coming from the Mill" and "Going to the Match" were wonderful to stand in front of, letting your eyes roam from figure to figure. "Going to the Match" was particularly good how the figures, pouring towards the ground, led your eye to the same point from several directions. It evoked match day perfectly; I have only been to a couple of games but I remember all the people walking in the same direction and how weird it felt.

Despite having the song "Matchstick Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs" going round my brain, I did not think the figures were as simplistic as matchstick men. You could tell the era the painting was done from the fashions; in the 20s, women had cloche hats, and in the 60s and 70s you could recognise the modern clothes. I loved the dogs, their simple shapes were comical.

If you are in Salford then I recommend that you visit the Lowry. I am hoping my visit will inspire my comedy writing.