Treading the boards

Having always harboured a secret desire to be an actress, I have finally joined a theatre group in my local town. I went along to the auditions a couple of weeks back, not knowing what to expect. I explained that I'd never really done much acting before, apart from a dalliance with the camera a few years ago when we re-did "Dinner for One" and when I was at school, hundreds of years ago. I say when I was at school, as if I played the lead role in all of the school's weird productions. I didn't. All I can remember is Mr Grossman making us pretend to be motorbikes, and telling me I had a nice voice. But this remark has stuck with me.

I was a bit nervous at the auditions but everyone was friendly and they made me feel very welcome. We had to read out a bit of the play which is being put on at Christmas: Alan Ayckbourn's "Season's Greetings", a mixture of the usual seasonal arguments and wine-fuelled liaisons that do actually ring true. It's quite amusing in places. I only wanted a small role so read two of the smaller characters - except actually most of the characters have about the same amount to say really; there is one central woman around which everyone interacts.  I realised that most of the women at the audition had performed before and were very good, so although I had enjoyed it, I could not imagine that I would be chosen for a part with that much talent in the room.

However, the director must have seen something worth taking a risk on, as he offered me the role of Pattie. A woman with three kids who is seven months pregnant! Naturally, I accepted the challenge.

We have a busy rehearsal schedule and I have been to two rehearsals. I am quickly realising there is so much to learn - not in terms of lines, although I do have many - but in terms of the theatre. The stage is bigger than I expected. It is as much about movement, where you are standing and where you are facing as how you say the lines. Saying the lines is not the same as reading them out of a book. I will have to learn to project my voice. How, for example, do you convincingly cry or get angry? Maybe it's not so easy. And I need to learn terms like "upstage" and "downstage", "business" and probably lots more. But I can clearly learn a lot from the others. The woman cast in the main role told me she hadn't done any more acting than I have when she joined a year ago, so she has clearly taken to it like a duck to water. And I see that the director will of course be guiding and advising the whole way through. So it doesn't feel quite as terrifying as it might do. In fact, it felt strangely right to be standing on the stage. But I can tell that it will be a journey of challenges and ups and downs, and that sometimes I will wonder what I am doing there. But all in all I think it should be good fun.

Everyone seems very nice and as we will be spending a whole lot of time together, I am glad because it will mean knowing local people. The nicest thing is having something else to focus on other than job hunting and I have found myself feeling a little more productive the next day as a result.

A predictable and probably often-to-be-repeated misunderstanding occurred last night, as I chatted with a woman who had missed the first rehearsal.
"I haven't done any acting before," I told her. "And I'm pregnant, so that will be weird!"
"Ooh," she said, glancing at my figure, "how far is it?"
"It's 7 months..." (She looks confused), "No, I'm pregnant in the play! Not in real life!"
Much hilarity. She thought I looked a bit thin...
I'm looking forward to having the baby bump put on (well, not actually because I imagine it is going to be very weird, having not been in that condition before) - But I might put the picture on Facebook and see how many people I can fool...